


what is life

by Bromothymol_Blue



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-02-26 04:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13228446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bromothymol_Blue/pseuds/Bromothymol_Blue
Summary: The game is over. The reward has been claimed. The players can live forever in their new universe. But what about those who aren't god tiers?





	1. it begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, my name's Blue, and this is my first fic on AO3. At the moment, this is mostly pesterlogs, but I might add some actual paragraphs later. If you find any discrepancies in continuity or grammar, please tell me in the comments and I'll fix it. As for updates, I think it's mostly gonna be whenever? I might assign a day later, but probably not. Anyways, enjoy!

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT] 

TG: rose  
TG: rose hey  
TG: rose answer me 

tentacleTherapist  is an idle chum!

TG: take some time off from your hot alien makeouts with kanaya and answer me  
TG: actually thats what im messaging you about  
TG: kanaya, not the hot alien makeouts  
TG: and karkat  
TG: and terezi  
TG: i guess callie too  
TG: not gamzee  
TG: fuck gamzee  
TG: so anyways  
TG: respond asap

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] 

TT: What exactly is it you wish to speak with me about, Dave?  
TT: And, for future reference, when you pester me at three am, I am far more likely to be sleeping than participating in 'hot alien makeouts'.  


TG: yo rose  
TG: what up  
TG: hey this might be a weird question

TT: The significant majority of your questions, and general statements, border on strange. I'm used to it.  


TG: okay so  
TG: first of all  
TG: is kanaya immortal?  


TT: Hmm. I believe so.  
TT: I could wake her up and ask, but sleep-deprived vampires aren't very fun to deal with.  
TT: Why do you ask?  
TT: I assume it's concern over Karkat's immortality.  
TT: Or lack thereof.  


TG: yeah  
TG: his eyes are turning red  
TG: thats a reaching adulthood thing for trolls  
TG: so it made me think  
TG: hes not a god tier  
TG: and he said his blood means his lifespan is the shortest of the trolls  
TG: i dont know how long hes gonna live  


TT: Yes, that is alarming.  
TT: Terezi isn't good tier either, but she is a blue blood, so her life is going to be longer.  
TT: As for Calliope, perhaps it would be prudent to ask our dear mother.  


TG: ok ill make a memo


	2. welcome to the memo

turntechGodhead [TG] has created Memo: what is life!

turntechGodhead [TG1]  has invited tentacleTherapist [TT],  tipsyGnostalgic [TG2],  ectoBiologist [EB], to Memo: what is life! 

Memo: what is life 

turntechGodhead [TG1] has responded to Memo: what is life!

tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to Memo: what is life!

tipsyGnostalgic [TG2] has responded to Memo: what is life!

TG2: yassss strilonde fam memo  
TG2: except with john instead of dirk  
TG2: davey did you forget your ectofatherbro?

TT: This memo concerns the mortality of Karkat, Terezi, and Calliope, not family matters.

TG1: yeah cause im dating karkat youre dating callie and johns hatedating tz

TT: As Dirk is dating Jake, a god tier, we needn't involve him in this.

TG2: ohhhhhh ok  
TG2: so wheres john then  
TG2: lazy boy

TT: Am I the only one there who understands that three in the morning is a time for sleep?

TG1: rose three am is not time for sleep  
TG1: its time for mild crises about how long your bf is gonna live

TG2: among other thongs  
TG2: *things  
TG2: ;) wonk

TT: ...

TG1: ok anyways  
TG1: how long is callie gonna live  
TG1: i mean technically she already died and shes got the ring of life but?  
TG1: still?

TG2: uhhh idk???  
TG2: i mean as long as she's got the ring she's kinda immortal

TG1: ok callies good  
TG1: do you know about karkat and tz

TT: We've established that Terezi is going to live longer than Karkat because of their respective blood colors, but nothing else.

ectoBiologist [EB]  has responded to Memo: what is life!


	3. john shows up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments, everyone!

EB: hey guys what's going on?

TG1: scroll up  
TG1: once youve got the deets, tell us how long terezi's gonna live

TG2: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii john :)

EB: hi roxy!  
EB: also I don't know how long terezi's going to live, sorry dave.  
EB: and I'm not hate-dating her!

TT: When you get a chance, can you ask her?

EB: sure rose!  
EB: although I may have to get through vriska first  
EB: ugh, I swear terezi's spending all her time with her just to annoy me

TG1: classic black crush, john  
TG1: listen to karkat and tell her you hate her already

EB: no! I don't hate her!  
EB: she just irritates me!  
EB: platonically!

TG1: *raises eyebrows*

TT: *also raises eyebrows*

TG2: *raises one singular eyebrow*  
TG2: suuuure  
TG2: we ain't buying it buddy

TG1: yeah dude  
TG1: admit it

TT: You are giving off strong indicators of desiring a kismesissitude with her.

TG1: trust me and rose  
TG1: we are experts at troll romance

EB: no!!!

TT: Although I hate to stop this conversation, we really should get back to the subject at hand.

TG2: (hate to stop it i see what you did there rosey)

EB: *clears throat*  
EB: subject change? please?

TT: Yes. Although we have discussed the lifespans of our friends and concluded that we only need to be concerned about Karkat and Terezi, we have not discussed potential solutions.  
TT: Any ideas?

TG1: idk thats the problem  
TG1: maybe johns hot mom can do some lifey magic or sth

TT: Dave.

TG1: rose

TG2: yeah, janey could probs help!

TG1: should i add her to the memo

TT: Yes, that would be wise.

turntechGodhead [TG1] has added gutsyGumshoe [GG]  to Memo: what is life!


	4. jane shows up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so updates might happen more on the weekends, because winter break is over and I'm back in school. I'm still updating though, don't worry. And again, thank you all for the kudos and comments!

gutsyGumshoe [GG] has responded to Memo: what is life!

GG: Hello!

TG2: hey janey!

EB: hi nanna! :B

TG1: sup

TT: Hello, Jane.  
TT: I suggest you read the entire conversation to be completely caught up on the current situation, but I can give you a short summary.  
TT: Karkat and Terezi aren't god tiers, so Dave was concerned about how long they will live.  
TT: We were wondering if there was any way you could help.

TG: like if someone dies of being old can you fix them

GG: Gee, I'm not sure.  
GG: I know I can bring people back to life if they have been killed before their time, but I simply don't know if I can help if it is their time!

TG2: davey u could, like, put their bods back in time?  
TG2: is that a thing that can happen?

TG1: uhhh idk  
TG1: and anyways  
TG1: their memories would probably go back too  
TG1: that would suck

GG: I agree, it would be unpleasant for everyone.  
GG: Also, may I ask if you have, say, consulted Karkat or Terezi on this?

TG1: ...

TT: No, we haven't.  
TT: That is a thing we should probably do, though.

TG1: eventually

TG2: why dont you wanna ask?  
TG2: awww, i bet you dont want them to worry

TG1: ...  
TG1: i dont want to ask karkat bc hes still kinda sensitive about his blood  
TG1: and tz spends all her time with spiderbitch

EB: yeah, no one really wants to go near vriska

TT: Okay, perhaps we should shelve the topic of consulting the trolls we are attempting to aid for the time being and go back to solutions.

GG: As the facts stand, I can't do it alone and neither can Dave.  
GG: Perhaps we could combine powers?


	5. fraymotifs and dirk

TT: Combine powers?  
TT: Utilising a fraymotif, I suppose? 

TG1: would that even work  
TG1: what would happen 

TG2: i think its a good idea janey!

TG1: like we send their bodies back in time and keep them alive  
TG1: but that still doesnt do anything about their memories 

TT: Yes, we would need a mind player for that. 

TG1: whos going to ask tz  
TG1: 123  
TG1: not it

EB: not it!

TG1: yes you are

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]!

TT: Roxy.  
TT: Why are so many people online at this hour?  
TT: Especially Rose. I thought better of her. 

TG: hey dirk!!!  
TG: shenaginins is why  
TG: *shenaingins?  
TG: *shenanigans? 

TT: Shenanigans.  
TT: Can I ask what shenanigans exactly? 

TG: uhhh idk  
TG: can u?  


TT: ...  
TT: Yes. I can.  
TT: What shenanigans are you talking about? 

TG: just a sec 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] is an idle chum! 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has rejoined Memo: what is life!

TG1: yes 

EB: no! 

TG1: yes 

EB: no!!! 

TG1: tough nuggets egderp  
TG1: shes your kismecrush not mine  


EB: no she's not! 

TG2: hey is it ok if I tell dirk about this?  
TG2: hes askin why were all up 

TG1: yeah sure  
TG1: the more the merrier  
TG1: and john yes she is 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]!


	6. the argument continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the late update. A lot has been going on recently, but don't worry. I've got most of this planned out, but I still need to type and edit the chapters.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]!

TG: okay so daveys trying to figure out how to like keep terezi and karkat from dying i guess?  
TG: bc theyre not god tier or anything  
TG: so he dragged rose into it and then they got me and john and then we got jane

TT: How do you intend to go about this?  
TT: Do you have an actual plan or no?

TG:uhhh...

Memo: what is life!

EB: no!!! 

TT: Ahem.  
TT: I don't believe we possess a fraymotif for Dave, Jane, and Terezi.

GG: Hmm.

TG1: yeah thats a problem  
TG1: how can we find one

TT: I had assumed you would know.  
TT: How did you get the ones you have?

TG1: i bought them  
TG1: with my metric fuckton of boonbucks  
TG1: all of them, btw

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] resumed pestering timaeusTestified [TT]!

TG: I think theyre tryin to use a fraymotif with dave jane and terezi?  
TG: but like they don't have one

TT: Perhaps they could attempt to alchemize one?

TG: that  
TG: is a hella fine idea

Memo: what is life!

TT: And you're positive there were no others?

TG1: yeah

TG2: ok so dirk said u could probs alchemitize one  
TG2: *alchemize

TT: That is quite smart.  
TT: But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still need to get Terezi on board.  
TT: John, I realize you don't want to be the one to discuss this with her, but...

TG1: do it

TG2: plz???

EB: ugh  
EB: fiiineee


	7. who will ask her. please tell me. i don't actually know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it has been a while. Sorry for not updating sooner, everything got really busy. Also, sorry, this chapter is kind of a mess of conversations.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]!

EB: hi tz!

GC: H3Y N3RD  
GC: WH4TS UP?  
GC: OTH3R TH4N YOU 4T TH1S UNGOGLY HOUR

EB: dave has something to ask you!  
EB: you should go pester him about it now

ectoBiologist [EB]  has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]!

GC: W41T  
GC: WHY

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]!

GC: H1 COOLK1D  
GC: WH4T DO YOU W4NT TO 4SK M3 4ND WHY C4N'T 1T W41T UNT1L 1M 4W4K3

TG: what  
TG: no  
TG: just a sec

Memo: what is life!

TG1: john what the fuck  
TG1: ask her yourself you coward

ectoBiologist [EB] is now offline! 

TT: Well, as John has left, it would appear that Dave is the best candidate. 

TG: rose  
TG: rose why

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]!

GC: 4RGH  
GC: JOHN 4ND D4V3 4R3 B31NG W31RD  
GC: 4G41N

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to write this and promptly realized I had no idea how to write Terezi. Also, I got a tumblr! I'm @acid-of-air.


End file.
